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Affair proofing your marriage

Posted at 1:28 PM, Jun 16, 2016
and last updated 2016-06-16 15:28:32-04

Therapist Anastasia Pollock tells us five ways to affair proof your marriage.

"Becoming aware of the dangers that make your relationship more prone to affairs"

Danger #1: Denial is dangerous! People who have affairs are not necessarily bad people. Good people have affairs all the time. Don`t assume that because you are both good people that your relationship won`t be susceptible to an affair if you aren`t caring for yourselves and your relationship.

Danger #2: We all have `em!: The things we DO NOT want to talk about, also known as the elephants in the room. You will do things that bother your partner and they will do things that bother you. It is tempting to sometimes ignore these issues, but they take a toll on a relationship over time. Each unresolved problem will add weight and stress to your relationship and make your relationship more vulnerable.

Danger #3: Piggy-backing on the last point: Growing apart and becoming bored in a relationship puts it in grave danger. Lack of intimacy, both physical and emotional, put a relationship at great risk of deterioration and to affairs. In the beginning of a relationship, we put it above everything else. As time goes one, it is so easy to get into the busy pace of life and lose touch with your partner. Remember that we are continuously evolving with life`s experiences. If we are not on the same page as our partner, we may wake up one day and feel like we are looking at a stranger. The more distance between partners, the more vulnerable the relationship will be to an affair.

Danger #4: Putting yourself in dangerous situations, particularly those where you may be alone with another person to whom you are attracted and who may be interested in you. This is particularly dangerous if you are having problems with your relationship. Be aware of others who might pose a threat to your relationship. It is natural to be attracted to other people. It is in our primal nature to be attracted to others and nothing to be ashamed of. It becomes a problem when we are not aware of our own susceptibility and when we are not giving time and attention to our relationship.

Danger #5: Beliefs instilled in your family of origin can put a person at risk for affairs, particularly if their parents had affairs. Beliefs can be instilled at a very young age and can be automatic in adulthood. If this is the case in your family, be aware of your own belief system.

To get more information about Anastasia, go here.