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Why you should be ranking your relationship

Posted at 4:30 PM, Jun 16, 2017
and last updated 2017-06-16 18:30:31-04

Goal Setting for Couples by Laura Heck

It doesn't seem to matter if couples have just married or have taken double digits around the sun together, they still complain about "not being on the same page". What does it even mean to not be on the same page? For most, it is a daily experience of having a difference of opinions, values, goals, and desires that pull them into opposite directions often leading to feelings of being misunderstood, unsupported and lonely.

When two lives intersect, there is a blending of individuality (likes, dislikes, hobbies, spiritual practices, etc.) and togetherness. The creation of "we" must be intentional and meaningful. Deep and intimate relationships find ways to create meaning that bring them closer together by honoring their values, beliefs, philosophies, and dreams. I work with couples to create "we-ness" through goal setting and I would like to teach you a technique for conquering the world, together!

Instructions for Same Page Goal Setting
*You will each need a notepad, and pen for this exercise. Allow as much time as you need to complete.

#1 Individually rank how your relationship is doing for each Life Domain on a scale of 1-10, 1 being "We really struggle" and 10 being "We really excel"
•Physical Health
•Mental Well-being
•Friends and Family
•Personal Growth
#2 Compare your results with your partner. What three domains did you collectively score lowest on? If you have a tie in a few areas, decide on only three to focus on.
#3 For each of the three domains you scored lowest in, create a 30 day, a 1-year and10-year goal to achieve as a couple. Remember that these goals are a way for each of you to collaborate on your shared values, interests, and beliefs.
Make sure your goals are SMART.
S- Specific
T-Time based
#4 Create a visual reminder of your goals and place in a highly visible but private location. I recommend hanging your vision board your master bedroom closet.
#5 Revisit your goals every 30 days and evaluate your progress. Rank each of your 10 domains every 30 days and decide if you need to tackle a new domain in order to bring your score up.

For more information about Laura Heck and her practice with couples visit Take the Couple Connection Quiz to see how connected you and your mate are right now by visiting