OREM, Utah — The Orem Police Department will offers its services for those needing a sober driver this weekend.
“So this year we will be your DD (Designated Drivers). So, if you are leaving Orem or coming to Orem this Saturday and Sunday night we will bring our patty wagon to pick you and your intoxicated friends up and take you to your destination. There will be a few rules (i.e., leave your weed at home, keep it within a 15 mile radius, submit to a late night intoxicated selfie with our officers),” a posting on the Orem Police Department’s Facebook page said.
The department reiterated this is a real offer for people needing a ride in the Orem area on Saturday and Sunday nights.
“And yes, this is serious, not a joke. We WILL be providing those without a DD a safe ride home. We’d rather give you a ride home then a ride to the pokey, the hospital or worse yet, the medical examiners office,” the posting said.
Orem Police spokesman Craig Martinez said the service will be available both nights from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m.
“Hopefully people that use it this weekend use it for the services that it’s supposed to be there for, and not just as a kind of a party wagon,” Martinez said. “That’s not what it is.”
The Orem Police Department will have two officers working overtime to provide the service, so it will not affect their regular patrols.
“We’re gonna have some barf bags on hand, we’ll have some Gatorades and water ’cause people need to replace their electrolytes when they’ve been drinking,” Martinez said. “We’ll try to make it as comfortable a ride as possible, but also realize you’re sitting in the back of a van that’s made for prisoners.”
OPD is expected to release additional details about scheduling rides later this week.
In addition to drinking and driving, the department offered a few other suggestions for things NOT to do:
-Stalk your ex on FB
-Steal your co-workers food (especially if it’s a turkey sandwich with the moist maker)
-Get a mani-pedi
-Ask a woman, “Why can’t you be more like ____________?
-Fire Brad’s wife
-Admit to watching any movie on the Lifetime channel
-Get a lower back tattoo
-Sit while a pregnant woman or elderly person is standing
-Refer to oneself as a “playa.”
-Give yourself a haircut
-Use your drivers license to pick things out of your teeth
-If you meet a girl don’t compliment her on her mustache
-Swipe right when you meant to swipe left
-Invade someone’s personal bubble
Would you let the police be your DD?