The Place


How to tolerate an unwanted holiday gathering

Posted at 2:26 PM, Dec 18, 2018
and last updated 2018-12-18 16:26:02-05

Christmas is a time of get-togethers and holiday gatherings.

But, statistics show 19 percent of us dread attending holiday events (Consumer Reports 2017) and 64 percent of us will be attending at least one gathering that we have anxiety about (Consumer Reports 2017).

So Licensed Mental Health Counselor Jessie Shepherd joined us with some pre-event, during event and post-event advice to help tolerate an unwanted holiday gathering.

- Reduce expectations; specifically don`t expect others to have changed or matured.
- Understand yourself & vulnerabilities; know your triggers.
- Understand others & how they will probably act.
- Give the people & event the benefit of the doubt.
- Game Plan! Map out supports, create a mantra, have a bug out plan and have your objective in mind.
During event
- Separate yourself from the chaos & observe it.
- Don`t fall into past patterns/cycles.
- Don`t self-medicate with alcohol.
- Visualize a boundary bubble.
- *If it is truly bad for you- Don`t Go.
- Do self care after. Watch a movie, take a bath, chat with friends.
- Don`t dwell; focus on your next action.
- Do something you are looking forward to & excited about.

You can get more advice from Jessie by visiting her website: