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Every couple needs a few reminders on how to keep their relationship happy and healthy

Posted at 1:35 PM, Jan 13, 2021
and last updated 2021-01-13 15:35:36-05

Every couple needs a few reminders on how to keep their relationships happy and healthy.

Relationship Coach Val Baldwin CPC says it's easy to get into some negative habits and forget to treat our partners the way they deserve.

She joined us with what research has shown are the three best couples tips to keep your love alive.

#1 – Stop all the shame, blame and criticism. Instead, ask for what you want in a clear, specific and positive manner. This goes double for wives! Men need to feel competent. They react better when you tell them what you do like, which behaviors make you happy. So instead of grabbing the sponge and telling your husband he doesn't know how to wash the dishes, instead, say "thank you for pitching!" When men get acknowledged for things, they'll keep doing them.

#2 - When your relationship starts to break down, you need a triple A – apology, affection and a promise of action. Say you're sorry for what you've done to disappoint your partner. Immediately offer a hug, a kiss, a meaningful gesture of warmth. Then pledge to do something that matters to your partner. The whole thing will take 2 minutes, but in that time you've healed the past, built a bridge to the present, and created hope for the future.

#3 – All relationships grow stale as time goes by. The best thing you can do is to pump some fresh air into it. A long weekend way would be ideal, but even a few hours away from work, the kids, your phone, and life's responsibilities helps. Reconnect with each other by remembering the things that made you fall in love in the first place. Do the things that you used to do – talk over dinner, go on a hike together, walk with your arms around one another. When you get home, you'll find your relationship has definitely brought back a wonderful spark.

You can contact Val on her website, valbaldwin.com.