HOLLADAY, Utah — A fourth grade student in Holladay was mad as heck and wasn't going to take the quality of his school's toilet paper anymore, so he wrote a letter demanding action.
In his note to the Granite School District, Jacob offered numerous reasons why he didn't like the toilet paper at Cottonwood Elementary. Chief among the issues was that the paper felt like a popular tool used in construction and woodwork, Jacob wrote.
"The toilet paper feels like sandpaper and I think most kids avoid going to the bathroom (including me) for that reason," said Jacob. "Also, the paper is so thin it breaks, so you have poop on your fingernails."
Jacob added that if the district is going to provide such poor TP, they should allow students to "bring their own soft toilet paper to school."
Well, after hearing what Jacob had to say loud and clear, Jared Gardner, the district's director of purchasing, responded to the student's plea. Gardner later set up a meeting with himself, Jacob and Kayla Williams, Jacob's teacher, and the school's principal to discuss how to remedy the situation.
Unfortunately, Gardner said bathroom dispensers at the schools only fit industrial toilet paper which "is simply not as soft as some of the toilet papers you will find at your local grocery store."
However, Jacob scored big time when Gardner said he informed school officials about two-ply paper which is available to replace the one-ply variety that easily comes apart.
"This paper is twice as thick which certainly helps with your expressed problem," Gardner wrote in a letter to Jacob, who read it aloud to his entire class.
Jacob then held aloft a large roll of the two-ply toilet paper in a victorious manner reminiscent of a heavyweight boxer who just won the world title.
Gardner added that there is no policy that prohibits Jacob or anyone else from bringing their own toilet paper.
The old adage says you can't fight city hall, but a Utah student just proved that when it comes to comfort in the bathroom, there's no one more powerful than a fourth grader scorned.