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Man reveals alter ego in obituary, instructs son to ‘avenge his father’s death’

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Posted at 8:07 AM, Dec 02, 2014
and last updated 2014-12-02 10:32:01-05

MINNEAPOLIS — A Minnesota man with a brain tumor knew he didn’t have long to live, so he went to work on writing his own humorous obituary with the help of his wife.

“I’ve never laughed and cried more in one sitting, but I’m so glad we got to do this. I love this man so damn much,” wrote Nora Purmort, whose husband, Aaron Joseph Purmort, died on November 25 at age 35.

In his obituary, Aaron claims his cancer was caused by a “radioactive spider bite,” the same catalyst that allowed Peter Parker to become Spider-Man in the popular comic book, TV and film franchises.

“Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city,” a passage in Aaron Purmort’s obituary said.

Read the entire obituary below:

Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long.

Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate).

Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often. In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs.

As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy.

Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party.

He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death.

A service will be held on December 3, 2014 at Shelter Studios, 721 Harding St. NE, Mpls 55413 at 6 pm.

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