SALT LAKE CITY — As Valentine's Day approaches, new research reveals that developing relationship skills during the dating phase leads to stronger marriages, according to experts on the Utah Marriage Commission.
Two researchers on the commission, created by state legislation to improve relationships and families, say serious impediments to lasting relationships often begin with poor dating habits.
Dr. Chelom Leavitt says dating teaches people about themselves, but modern dating culture presents unique challenges. She recently had a college student tell her it's difficult to take relationships seriously because there always seems to be a better option available.
"We have to at some point, settle down and really focus on what kind of skills do I have in just creating a relationship with someone who's good enough, right?" Leavitt said. "It's such a damaging mentality to constantly think, there's someone better out there. What that does is it allows me to avoid digging down and developing these skills that are so necessary in any relationship."
Dr. Alan Hawkins acknowledges that the stereotype about dating difficulties in Utah is real, but says tools exist to help build necessary skills and maintain a positive attitude.
Hawkins says there's a growing opinion that dating in young adulthood isn't important, but he disagrees with that perspective.
"I want to push back on that one just at a fundamental level that I think dating is one of the most important activities that young adults take on in terms of their own personal development and in terms of kind of setting the stage for the future," Hawkins said.
The Utah Marriage Commission has developed online courses to help improve dating skills. The program, called Dating Ready, covers the basic fundamentals of dating.
The commission also offers free content on building stronger relationships, conflict resolution, parenting, and relationship assessments at strongermarriage.org.
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