The hashtag ‘alpine divorce’ has exploded on social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram in recent months, with many women sharing traumatic, sometimes life-threatening experiences.
The term is used to describe an event during a hike or other outdoor adventure, when one partner, usually male, abandons the other, who is typically less experienced and more vulnerable, in a remote and potentially dangerous setting.
Conversation has in part been driven by a high-profile case in Austria earlier this year, which saw a climber convicted of manslaughter and handed a suspended sentence after he left his girlfriend alone on Grossglockner mountain, the country’s tallest, as he claimed he went to seek help. She froze to death.
Prosecutors accused the man, named as Thomas P., of not answering calls from rescue services despite having phone signal and failing to send distress signals in time. During his trial, an ex-girlfriend testified that he had abandoned her on the same mountain in 2023 because he considered her too slow, Germany’s Bild newspaper reported. He tended to get “grumpy” if she was struggling during a hike, she told the court during her testimony.
Amid the trial, women were sharing their personal stories online. “POV: you go on a hike with him in the mountains but he leaves you alone by yourself and you realise he never liked you to begin with,” one woman wrote in a clip on TikTok which shows her alone on an isolated mountain path and has amassed nearly 5 million views.
In a post on X, another woman shared a video of walking in wilderness by herself, writing, “This is a video of me hiking in the Scottish Highlands trying to make the best out of my trip while the guy I was in a situationship with was miles ahead of me.” The clip has 1.9 million views.
Coined in an 1893 short story by Scottish Canadian writer Robert Barr about a husband plotting to kill his wife in the Swiss Alps, ‘alpine divorce’ is not a legally or officially recognized term. However, behavioral psychologist and relationship coach Jo Hemmings told CNN the relationship dynamics behind it were identifiable.
According to Hemmings, perpetrators are commonly those with an avoidant attachment style, who emotionally and physically distance themselves from others when under stress rather than addressing the cause.
“They are likely to lack empathy and compassion and avoid conflict – preferring to remove themselves,” she said. “I see this kind of behavior frequently in my counselling rooms – a partner, most often a man with a female partner, who withdraws under questioning, or may even leave the room or give up on the counselling altogether.”
While ‘alpine divorce’ may not be a common experience, Hemmings believes the underlying concept will be familiar to many women. “Not because of the mountainous setting, but because emotional withdrawal or even abandonment within a relationship is relatively common.”
A mountainous setting adds another dimension to this pattern of behavior, however, rendering it potentially dangerous. Such outdoor activities create an instant hierarchy; who leads, who navigates and who sets the pace.
“Walking ahead and refusing to adapt can be a subtle way of asserting authority or control,” Hemmings said.
‘I needed to get help’
Although most often describing romantic partners, the term can apply where typically women are deserted by other male figures they thought they could trust, such as fathers, brothers, other family members and friends.
Keen hiker Laurie Singer, from California, felt betrayed by a long-term male friend when she became ill on a weeks-long hike in a situation which left her fearing for her life.
In 2016, at the age of 56, Singer said she set out on the John Muir Trail which runs through California’s Sierra Nevada mountain range, accompanied by her close male friend and fellow hiker. The trail effectively stretches across 222 miles (357 kilometers) and takes the average hiker two to three weeks to complete.
According to Singer, he had done the trek previously and had more experience than her, particularly at altitude, and “talked her into it.” The pair agreed to hike for 20 miles a day, with her friend saying that he would take care of arranging the necessary food for the two of them.
Just days into the expedition, Singer, who described herself as an “ultra-athlete,” began to feel ill in what she later realized was altitude sickness. Despite this, her friend did not slow his pace.
“He kept going ahead of me and I couldn’t really keep up with him because of the altitude sickness I was experiencing,” she told CNN.
“For example, one night, we were hiking into the night. He was so far ahead of me, I was so scared…I would yell his name…I didn’t hear anything.”
After around an hour of being separated, Singer eventually caught up with her hiking partner, who told her that he had been testing her to see if she would make it.
The pair continued over the coming days, with Singer realizing that he had not provided enough food for both of them. She said that he revealed he had been aiming to lose weight during the hike, but had not informed her of this before they set out. “By that time, I was already using a safety pin just to keep up my shorts.”
Pushing through to complete more than 150 miles of the trail, Singer said she woke up one morning aware something was seriously wrong with her and she could barely walk.
Her friend, she said, suggested that they separate and she take a trail to get back to their starting point and seek help while he continued to the end of the planned route. She said he sent her off with just an energy bar to eat and even offloaded his trash into her bag, saying it would make his load lighter.
“I didn’t know how long the trail was, but I did know I needed to get help.”
Setting off alone on the rocky path, Singer struggled with keeping her balance. She didn’t know it yet but, due to the altitude sickness, she was suffering from swelling of the brain, in addition to infected blisters. She found herself in a life-threatening situation and her predominant thought was that she didn’t want to die alone in the wilderness. “I was just so hungry… all I kept thinking was, I want to see my family again.”
After about eight miles, she encountered other hikers on the otherwise-empty route who could see she was in a bad way, offering her food and helping her with directions. She was eventually able to hitchhike back to safety, but her recovery process took weeks.
Reflecting back on the ordeal, she said, “I didn’t realise how much a part of the planning process I should have been, but then he took on a role as kind of a sherpa mentor, in a way, and he wasn’t. He would just leave people. Who does that?”
In terms of a possible motive, ‘alpine divorce’ can range from a premeditated act of malice to an impulsive, in-the-moment decision.
Where a victim has deliberately been lured to a potentially dangerous setting and then abandoned, the perpetrator may be suffering from a personality disorder, Hemmings said.
In most cases, she believes the abandonment is spontaneous, triggered by impatience and a lack of control and empathy.
After her traumatic ordeal, Singer’s advice is clear; “No matter how much you think you know the person (you’re hiking with), you should always be self-reliant.”
“I trusted (my friend)… I thought I knew (him), and apparently, I didn’t"
