SALT LAKE CITY — The holidays are meant to bring families and friends together, but the reality of gathering can often create stress and anxiety instead of joy.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Shahrzad Jalali offers strategies to make the holidays more bright than bitter, acknowledging that many people enter the season carrying 12 months of unmet needs, unspoken tension, and exhaustion.
"And then we're expected to switch into celebration mode on command," Jalali said.
She advises against falling into old family roles and unresolved dynamics that can create additional stress during gatherings.
One key strategy involves preparing for potentially uncomfortable conversations before they happen.
"So let's say they want to talk about something that you're not comfortable with, you can very politely say, I'm not talking about that today, but I'm happy to catch up on other things, or you can say, I know you're curious, but that is not a topic I wish to discuss at the moment. So you are staying true to yourself at the same time you're staying connected with everybody else," Jalali said.
The psychologist emphasises that connection, not perfection, should be the focus of holiday celebrations. She warns against getting caught up in creating the ideal social media image.
"The more we make it about what it looks like, the less we're actually present in the moment," Jalali said.
For those feeling overwhelmed during holiday gatherings, Jalali recommends immediate grounding techniques. Deep breathing with slow exhaling or pressing your toes into the floor can help prevent your mind from taking over and bring your body back to the present moment.
These simple strategies can help transform potentially stressful holiday interactions into meaningful connections while maintaining personal boundaries and mental well-being.
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