SALT LAKE CITY — Getting kids back on a regular schedule after a summer of variable routines takes planning, and child psychologist Dr. Doug Goldsmith says the most important step starts at the dinner table.
"One of the issues is to talk to your kids every single night. We really encourage family dinners, not just everyone spread out all over the place, or at least a time to connect," Goldsmith said.
He recommends asking open-ended questions like, "What was great about your day today? What can we help you fix?"
For children who resist school, Goldsmith said consistent check-ins are especially critical.
"When you have kids that are saying, I hate school, which I hear all the time. I hate the teacher. I don't like the kids. I hate the homework. I'm not good at it there's a lot of frustration. Those are the kids that need a lot more support and what they're really needing is the parents to check in every single night," Goldsmith said.
Parents should also talk with their children about homework and activity schedules, helping them plan required tasks before moving on to relaxation time. Discussing how long each assignment or activity might take can help ease anxiety about long hours of schoolwork.
Goldsmith said school tasks should take place before screen time. "And all of that must happen before time on screens, whether it's phone, iPad, or computer games. That has become a tremendous interference and is causing kids to fail school," Goldsmith said.
Sleep is another area where parents need to act now.
"The sleep schedule is absolutely critical. We've let that we've let that slip over the summer, and parents really need to wake up to that. If your child is currently sleeping in until 9 or 10 and they're going to have to wake up at 6, that's a 4 hour gap. Um, that's almost a flight to Europe in terms of jet lag," Goldsmith said.
Goldsmith also recommends reasserting rules about where screens are allowed in the home. "No cell phones in the kids' bedrooms after a certain time because they're staying up late texting friends, talking to friends. We have an exhausted group of kids out there," Goldsmith said.
Child psychologists say that exhaustion can mimic all kinds of mental health issues.
"It's not only a dramatic impact on their academics, but it's causing irritability and emotion dysregulation. It's one of the first things that I check in therapy sessions, and the number of kids that we are actively working on with sleep issues is tremendous," Goldsmith said.
For parents of children with behavior or academic challenges, Goldsmith said it helps to reach out to the teacher during the first week of school. He said parents should make clear they want to hear about problems sooner rather than later, noting that teachers often wait to contact parents because they are unsure what kind of reaction they will receive.
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